Podford University Students & Faculty

Good at computers and math, Professor Shmates brought Math 55,000 to Podford University after Harvard students complained it was too hard.

• Played by: Vin Genova
• Can be found in: Math 55,000

A disgusting, deformed, three-hundred-year-old husk, The Troll can be found under the bridge near the old creek. Well, that is until he took his rightful place as Head Dean of Podford University and transformed back into his original flesh.

• Played by: Vin Genova

Riddled with emphysema and a former and founding member of the Joffreys Group, this retired finance rat decided to try his hand at running a college in an effort to discover the shortest distance to lining his own pockets. May he rest in peace.

• Played by: Anthony John Agnello
• Can be found in: The Pawed Chalice Podford University: Podfordcast

In bringing Show & Tell to a collegiate-level venue, human emotions had to be removed. The Showbot 5000 was developed by Podford Science to fairly and accurately judge over 14 million unique items, making Podford the premiere Show & Tell university in the nation.

• Can be found in: Show & Tell 409

Founder of Podford University and emphatic, passionate parlor magician, Gerald can be found in the Dean's mansion, plotting new ways to bring his once-great school back to greatness.

• Played by: Chris Higgins
• Can be found in: The Pawed Chalice

Professor of Shopping Carts and a man who truly loves what he teaches. Frankie has been studying shopping carts for as long as he can remember. He’s the heir to the Shopping Carts fortune and would give gladly to you the shopping cart off his own back.

• Played by: Brandon Ribeiro
• Can be found in: Shopping Carts 306

Sous chef to Conrad Lasagna at the Podford cafeteria. A dark cloud seems to follow poor Beau wherever he goes, although whether that’s his fault or his boss Conrad’s is up for debate.

• Played by: Brandon Ribeiro
• Can be found in: Snaktor's Studio

A retired lawyer and founder of Bear Law as a widely studied legal practice, this former attorney has decided to take his knowledge to the classroom. Purnell will fight for bear rights until the day he dies.

• Played by: Brandon Ribeiro
• Can be found in: Bear Law

As a long-time hobbyist-turned-professional Bear Lawyer, taking on cases most impovershed bears wouldn't dream of pursuing, Stelios earned his stripes infamously in the fall of 2005, defending the likes of one 'Ransom the Bear' in the precedent-setting Ransom v The State of Idaho.

• Played by: Joe Stasio
• Can be found in: Bear Law

Professor Ursos rose to prominence by providing the main argument in the landmark McCulloch v Maryland v Bear case, which overturned the federal government’s implied power over Bear state legislatures.

• Played by: Vin Genova
• Can be found in: Bear Law

With experience calling the Super Bowl, NCAA March Madness Final Four, Battle Bots, The Masters and Podford’s Chess Team, Dennis Limestone is as good as it gets in the sportscasting world.

• Played by: Vin Genova
• Can be found in: Sporting Events

Mark, a consummate optimist, can be found in Podford's robust band and orchestral facilities most of the time, despite the fact that he travels nearly 6 combined hours each day to and from work. He is nothing if not fully committed to bringing the gift of music to his students.

• Played by: Joe Stasio
• Can be found in: Podford Concert Orchestra

All-knowing and all-seeing, The Registrar is capable of making a list about anything regarding Podford University.

• Played by: Vin Genova
• Can be found in: Seasonal Events

The enigmatic Dr. Shark is the genius behind the most exclusive, sought after course at Podford University: Fish Lab 208. Their name is a coincidence. Dr. Fish Shark originally brought the idea of The Lab to Oxford, Yale and Princeton, though it was mutually agreed upon that Podford was the only school capable of handling the class.

• Played by: Vin Genova
• Can be found in: Fish Lab

Professor of Future History and the Keeper of all Time. Time’s official Daddy. The beginning and the end. He has seen all and knows most. Daddy Time loves a good mint julep.

• Played by: Brandon Ribeiro
• Can be found in: Future History 101

Professor of Pasta History and a man who truly loves what he teaches. Frankie has been studying the pasta arts for as long as he can remember. He’s the heir to the alfredo fortune and would give gladly to you the spaghetti off his own back.

• Played by: Brandon Ribeiro
• Can be found in: Pasta History 306

A mediocre-to-bad sportscaster, but an amazing Coldstone Creamery Team Member, Grunt is a true idiot who shouldn’t be allowed around a microphone.

• Played by: Brandon Ribeiro
• Can be found in: Sporting Events

Dartmouth, best known for his love and reverie of wood, became a professor at Podford University late in life. In his 70s now, he struggles to recall the entirety of his decades of expertise while just one facet remains clear as day: the construction and art of stairsmanship.

• Played by: Joe Stasio
• Can be found in: Carpentry 201

An aging thespian who can't wait to prepare young actors for the stage. He tends to grab inspiration for his plays from life experiences.

• Played by: Brandon Ribeiro
• Can be found in: Intro to Theater

The theatrical, larger-than-life head chef of Podford's storied cafeteria, Conrad can often be found shirking his duties in favor of more dramatic broadcasting pursuits.

• Played by: Joe Stasio
• Can be found in: Snaktor's Studio Podford University: Podfordcast